My Blog

Okay one more link

The Wall Street Journal is now stating what married folk have known for quite a while - "a happy wife makes for a happy life". Go ahead - take a peek - come on.http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122359379658821047.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Here's my laundry list of a Monday

Our church had its first annual Reformation Sunday yesterday. It was really quite wonderful. Paul gave a lecture on Martin Luther and his part in the Protestant Reformation. Then Pastor Pat gave his sermon on Justification by Faith Alone. After that we had a lovely pot-luck for which many of the ladies had been busy preparing for a couple of days. Andi (Pat's wife) did a great job making everything look pretty on a shoestring budget. We all ate like kings. In the evening we congregated again, at Pat & Andi's and had more pot-luck and listened to Pat's message, "5 Reasons Why I'm Reformed" , in which he listed 10 reasons to be reformed.

It was a great day, except for Paul. The minute he sat down after delivering his lesson he got the flu. Well, we thought it was a cold, but in less than 24 hours it's gone to his chest and he's got a high fever. He went to work today, which probably didn't help matters, but I think he'll be calling in sick tomorrow.

I had the day off today and spent it trying to get my act together. I changed my sheets, did 7 loads of laundry (and even put it all away!),cleaned the cat boxes, cleaned my kitchen (except for the floors), spent a couple of hours prepping and painting more kitchen cabinets, re-priced some books, put a bunch of obscure books on-line (the kind I usually set aside to deal with "later" because they're complicated), did the Monday banking, returned books to the library, went to the post office, went to my mom's, and at dinner-time made fetuccine Alfredo for Paul and Gina. Oh, here's a picture of Gina and Tony on Reformation Sunday:



I'd like to have a month of days like today. I think that's what it would take to get my house put together - that and a couple more bookshelves. Instead, I think it's going to be a few more weeks to finish the kitchen, and another couple of years for the rest of the house, should the Lord will and I live that long. I'm starting to get excited about the kitchen. The section of cabinets I started today is the last set, and it's the set nearest the stove & refrigerator, so I notice it more. Once these are done, the rest is cake, and now I'm much more confident that the finished product is going to look wonderful. I'm finally able to picture it in my mind.

Okay, I'm certain that was more than anyone wanted to know about my day, but that was it.

"Then I saw thrones,...

...and seated on them were those to whom judgment was committed. Also I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their testimony to Jesus and for the word of God, and who had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life again, and reigned with Christ a thousand years." Rev. 20: 4

"If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." Mark 8: 34b-35

May God grant those of us who name the name of Christ the grace not only to live, but to die in a manner that so glorifies Him.

Two Reformation Day Links

First of all, I would be remiss if I did not provide the link to Paul's Reformation Sunday message.

Secondly, my friend Nahomi just posted her own excellent article. She does a great job of drawing connections to our times.

Same subject matter, yet two very fresh treatments. I never tire of learning about the Protestant Reformation. I have a secret dream of teaching a church history series some day. (Well, I guess it's not a secret any more.)

Life

Really I need to be going to bed early tonight. I've got some reading to catch up on, and Paul's cold is catching up with me. My prayer was answered, however. I got through my week's jobs before it caught me. So I'm sucking on Cold-Eaze, hoping to minimize it.

And finally, the real reason for my post: life. Here's a link to a brief (15 minute or so) speech delivered in Australia by abortion survivor Gianna Jesson. I challenge everyone who reads this to take a few minutes to watch. Actually I'm begging everyone to watch.

By the people, for the people…

(In which I remind and encourage myself and my loved ones to take this business seriously. And after which I'm convicted for having not yet read my own voter information guide.)

Who governs this country? Who serves this country? You do. I do. We actively govern and serve one another every time we vote. God has given each of us this small unit of authority, this small act of service. He will hold us accountable for how we use it. When we do not vote, we fail to govern; we fail to serve. We neglect our God-given responsibility to govern and to serve. When we vote, but do it carelessly, we’ve carried out our God-given responsibility recklessly. Like any task God gives us to do, we should do it carefully and conscientiously, as worship - for the sake of His glory.

As a Christian, I am a part of the body of Christ here on this earth. I am called to represent Him and His values here on earth. While my citizenship is in heaven, I am not there yet. I’ve been left here and given responsibilities here. As a member of a democratic nation, when I am presented with an issue on which to vote, I must make my decision using God’s standards, as set forth in Holy Scripture, to the best of my ability. If I am asked to legitimize (or legalize) anything God clearly forbids in Scripture, it is at the very least irresponsible for me, with the bit of authority God has given me, to agree to legitimize that thing. I am as responsible before God for my vote, as the President or any judge in this nation is for any decision he or she makes. I will answer to God for my vote. So I need to take this business seriously.

I’ve read some articles lately which seemed to imply it would be better to vote in ways that would ensure religious persecution, reasoning that persecution would then bring about growth in the church. Well, persecution often does, in fact, serve to weed out some false professors of faith as well as serve as a testimony to the world. However, when I look at Scripture, and even church history, I don’t see persecution regarded as something to be sought after, as a means of growing the church, rather, it is something to be expected and accepted, something that naturally follows a growing and thriving body of believers who preach and live the gospel, and desire quiet and peaceable lives . Peace and sound leadership are represented as good things, things to be prayed for and sought after.

Under the totalitarian rule of a Caesar, Paul had these words to say to Timothy: "Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." (1Tim.2:1-4) Clearly Paul saw it as a worthy goal, for the sake of the gospel even, for us believers to lead a quiet and peaceable life. We do not, thanks be to God, live under a Caesar. We are governors in our nation. Our authority may be small, but it is real. We must use it, to the best of our abilities, to do what is right in the sight of God. Peter says, "Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is right? But even if you do suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in you hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence; and keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are abused. Those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing right, if that should be God’s will, than for doing wrong." 1 Peter 3: 13-17. If we are to suffer persecution, let it come from standing up for what is right in the sight of God, like the apostles, like the prophets of old, like the martyrs through the centuries.

One sweet little corner!

181. My own teeth! I’m not kidding! Think about it! It’s a good thing that dentures are available and that the dentures of seniors who move into our long-term care center receive identification upon admission. We’ve found dentures left on dining room tables, carefully wrapped in Kleenex and thrown into the garbage, down the toilet, into the laundry, amongst the potted plants and a variety of surprising locations! 

182. My eyesight! Met a lady on the elevator in our building who has macular degeneration in one eye and a cataract in the other. She just came back from her ophthalmologist who gave her a good post surgery report. She was happy. She strongly stated that she would just as soon die than go blind. I believe that one can still have good quality of life being blind. Something to think on! 

183. My health – with all its challenges of arthritis, etc.. Two more friends have received the diagnosis of prostate cancer. Am going to make some appointments in January for complete physicals – if I have to drag hubby there myself! 

184. Concerts – loved watching the Sing-along Messiah performance. Oh, I know, the sound is not the same as in a concert hall, but we also didn’t have to pay a bundle and can use that money for those less fortunate and going through financial crisis at this time of year. 

185. Bake Sales – bought some delicious Christmas homemade baking from volunteers I’ve known for years! 2 birds with 1 stone! Few more things from the stores and I’m done my Christmas baking! 

186. Good conversations – especially where there is give and take, mutual interest in getting to know one another. I always have to chuckle when folks grab the conversational ball, run with it, passionately tell their story in full detail and don’t think to pass the ball back to hear another word from you. That’s a speech, pretending to be conversation! 

187. Loving, caring, kind and thoughtful family! They are the best! Two grandsons had a birthday and so did my dear sister and dear sisters-in-law!  If you happen to come from a dysfunctional family however, make up your mind that you will NOT pass it on to the next generation! With God's help the curse can be broken!

My parents' 50th Anniversary in '93

pictured with their children and grands

(made hundreds of that craft years ago -

this is the only one left.)

188. Our heavenly Father - from whom all blessings originate and to whom all my thanks is given. 

189. Jesus – thank you for coming willingly to save us. ‘For God so loved the world’ became reality in You!! 

190. Holy Spirit – thank you for living within and being my Comforter, Teacher and Guide. I cannot do a thing without you. 

191. God’s Word - Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. May I have ears to hear and a heart that obeys. 

192. Pastors – who humbly share God's Word so that we can grow in our faith journey. 

193. Good News – help me Lord to share the good news about your first coming so that we can all live in the hope and joy and expectation of your second coming. You have promised to return! 

194. The family of God – we still need a lot of forgiveness and grace but it’s all in your hands Lord. 

195. Blessings, those we like and those we don’t. Yes, there are blessings we don’t perceive to be blessings at the moment, but I’m convinced that God allowed them for a reason, to achieve His purpose within us. It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces. (Psalm 119:71–72)

CHOCOHOLIC CAKE

Hi, my name is Jessica....and I am a chocoholic. I am addicted to chocolate. Phew, it feels good to have that off my chest. I must also admit that I make little to no effort to overcome it. In fact, I am always on the lookout for recipes that might feed this addiction for me. Luckily, my mom knows this about me and was kind enough to be my enabler and pass a wonderful recipe on. Chocoholic cake. Yes, that is really the name. It can't get any sweeter than this.

Chocoholic Cake
1 chocolate cake mix
1 small package (3.4 oz) chocolate pudding
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sour cream
4 eggs
1 cup walnuts, chopped (optional)
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix all ingredients except nuts and chips on low until well blended. Beat 2 minutes on high. Add nuts and chips. Pour into greased and floured bundt pan. Bake at 350 for 55-65 minutes. Cool cake 10 minutes then turn out onto platter. Glaze with the following recipe.

Glaze:
1 bar (2 oz) semi-sweet baking chocolate
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
3 T. butter
2 T. water
1 tsp. vanilla
Melt chocolate and butter in microwave 30 seconds at a time until smooth and melted. Cool. Add powdered sugar alternately with water. Add vanilla. Pour over cake.

Enjoy every heavenly bite!

in which I discuss the unthinkable

Paul and I have just returned home from the funeral of a most precious little girl.  Lydia's smile could have lit a room. Now it reflects the glory of God the Savior for all eternity.

Perhaps you've noticed the sparsity of my entries here these last two weeks. We've been struggling and praying for appropriate ways to handle what we're dealing with, and when and whether to speak about it. Up until now, for reasons which will become obvious, I've only shared this with a very few trusted friends. Paul made reference to it on his blog several days ago, but with no specifics.  I think it may be time for me to fill in the gaps. What we're dealing with is horrible and ugly - about as ugly as it gets. This all happens on the heels of my mother's death, and has now somehow managed to even overshadow that.  Mother's death, as difficult as it was...well...it made sense. She was 87 years old, and hadn't been well in many years. This, on the other hand, is a mess, an unfathomable tragedy, one horror heaped upon another. I haven't wanted to speak of it, because I can barely stand to think of it. But a time comes when, for the sake of love, it is right to stand up and speak. And I think, for me, that time has come.

It is now exactly two weeks since we got a phone call....well, let me back up. Over a year ago a new family began attending our tiny church. A husband and wife with nine kids - six biological, three adopted from Liberia. They were a lovely family, the children polite and well behaved. They home-schooled. That's how they found our church actually. They belonged to the same home-school organization as our pastor. Anyway, the wife was one of the kindest women I've ever known. Anytime there was a gathering of the church she and I would often find ourselves off somewhere together, talking quietly until it was time to leave. Her warmth was a soothing thing. No two people could be more different than she and I, and yet there was a sweet comfort in our times together. We'd been to their house a few times for church related functions, and once just Paul and I were there, for dinner. We ate shepherd's pie, and the children were a delight. They showed us how to milk their goats.  The husband also had always taken time to reach out to Paul, who in person is extremely reserved and tends to be overlooked, and so Paul was fond of him as well.

After about nine months they decided to leave our church. They had just completed our series of membership classes, so their change of heart came as a bit of a shock, and a disappointment. As I understood it, the differences they had with us were doctrinal. No agreement could be reached, and so they determined to find a church more in line with their beliefs. I was so sad, because I'd grown so fond of my friend, and also her little adopted girls, especially little Lydia, who always looked at me like I was some kind of miracle.

It has been maybe six months since they left, maybe a bit more. I saw them once after that, when we went to their house to pick up a bookshelf they gifted to us, twice if you count the time we chatted with the father and a few of the kids in the parking lot at Costco. Then Saturday night, two weeks ago, we got a phone call. Little Lydia was dead. Her older sister, Zariah, was in the hospital in critical condition. The other seven children had been placed in foster care and both parents were in jail - accused of murder, and child abuse.

I can't tell you how this has shocked and devastated us. We loved this family. We love them still. The first thing we did when we learned of all this, before we had any idea who did what, and still held out hope that it was all some kind of mistake, was to write them letters. Our next instinct was to want to rescue the children, at least one or two of them. But we were told by others who knew them that they would not allow anyone with any connection to the parents to have anything to do with the children (which would become quite understandable later as more details began to surface). So we felt helpless. We then began simply waiting, praying for the best outcome for all involved, and hoping some light would be shed on how such a thing could have happened - and wishing none of it was real. Elizabeth, the mother, is possibly the warmest person I’ve ever known. One of the hardest things for me, has been squaring the soft, meek woman I know with the hard cold fact of a dead child (and another who was at that time critically injured and fighting for her life).

As the days have gone by, more and more information has been uncovered about our friends. It turns out they were following the methods of Michael and Debi Pearl's "ministry" of systematic child "training". My husband and I have spent hours upon hours since this discovery poring over Pearl literature, disgusted. Horrified. I wanted understanding of what could have led to this tragedy, and I got it. The Pearl Method was the missing link. It made “sense” of what made no sense before. From what I've read, and even from some hindsight reflections of what I knew of this family, it appears they were following Pearl teachings very carefully - in doctrine and in practice. If the autopsy reports verify what preliminary findings suggest, it was the form of whipping (using the identical implement recommended in Pearl literature) taught by them which killed Lydia, and nearly killed Zariah.

They claim to be a Christian organization, and yet offer no grace and NO mercy. They actually teach parents to show no mercy to their children, and to love them only when they are lovable. ("When they do something lovely, then you can love them.") The whipping is to begin in infancy. It is to be used in "training" - what you might call behavior modification, and in "chastisement" which is actual punishment. They suggest keeping a whipping instrument in every room, and that the plumbing line they recommend is a perfect implement because it is inexpensive, available at Home Depot, and the parent can even drape it around his or her neck, so when the children see the parent, they see the whip*. And it gets worse. They speak as if it's all sweetness and delight, and yet talk about calmly stalking the child if it runs from the spanking, laughing at their frail attempts to escape. And there's so much more**, yet all couched in language of smiles and happy families. There is no Good News to be found there, just legalism, punishment - salvation by "the rod". Listen to the powers Michael Pearl ascribes to the rod - powers I've only heard elsewhere ascribed to Christ and His Cross:

"When a child is bound in self-blame and low self-esteem, parents are not helpless. God has given them the gift of the rod. The rod can bring repentance, but it goes much deeper than that. The rod in the hands of a righteous authority will supply the child’s soul with that moment of judgment that he feels he so deserves. Properly applied, with instruction, it will absolve the child of guilt, cleanse his soul, and give him a fresh start through a confidence that all indebtedness is paid." (Emphasis mine)

It is possible that my friend and her husband will spend the rest of their lives in prison. If the news and police reports are true, then this may be the penalty their actions call for. Paul and I determined from the outset that regardless what happens we will continue to extend the grace and hope of the Gospel to them there. And with every new horror that I learn, I find I love them no less. They are sinners, and so am I. They need the grace of God, and so do I. I, as a Christian, have been called to the ministry of reconciliation. As a recipient of God's mercy, I am called to extend that same mercy to every sinner I meet - no matter the sin.

So that's what we find ourselves dealing with - and the pain of loving the people misled by this religious system. None of this absolves our friends of the responsibility which they bear, nor am I making excuses for them. But, I believe they are not the only ones who bear responsibility. They were deceived, and were also ensconced in a little sub-community which encouraged them that what they were doing was the best thing, and even the most godly thing. The Pearl's system does not just mold children, it molds well-meaning parents into the kind of people who think they can and should expect perfect obedience and perfect behavior from imperfect and defenseless little creatures. In fact, it teaches them that if they don't succeed in this, they are not fit to be to be parents at all.***

So, that's where we find ourselves...living, waking, and sleeping with this tragedy never far away. It will stay with us in some way for a long time (likely forever). I hope you will pray with us that our friends will come to understanding and repentance, and that they will come to know the mercy and grace of God which their doctrinal system has so carefully hid from them. I hope you will pray for their precious children, the 8 that are left, scattered to the four winds and so confused - that they will be protected and loved wherever they are, placed permanently in loving and caring homes, and come to know the love of the Savior Jesus Christ and His mercy and grace to undeserving sinners. That they will not be poisoned against Him because of the way He has been misrepresented, or continue to think of obedience as a means to grace rather than a product of it and thus either try to earn their way to heaven or lose hope altogether. I hope you will remember us in prayer as well, for wisdom and opportunity to help in any way we can...if there's any way we can...and that somehow, in all of this, that God be glorified.


I've included a couple of links to news stories. There are some inaccuracies in them, but they give what the public sees, and whatever general information the police have seen fit to share:
http://cbs13.com/video/?id=68511@kovr.dayport.com
http://www.paradisepost.com/news/ci_14427370
http://www.chicoer.com/ci_14388171?source=most_viewed

Here are a couple of other articles addressing the Pearl "ministry", which also include many other helpful links:
http://www.tulipgirl.com/index.php/2010/02/heartbroken-angry-ngj-pearl-deat/
http://www.tulipgirl.com/index.php/2010/02/keeping-the-pearls-in-context/
http://www.tulipgirl.com/index.php/2010/02/hold-em-down-defeat-totally/

*What instrument would I use?
"As a rule, do not use your hand. Hands are for loving and helping. If an adult swings his or her hand fast enough to cause pain to the surface of the skin, there is a danger of damaging bones and joints. The most painful nerves are just under the surface of the skin. A swift swat with a light, flexible instrument will sting without bruising or causing internal damage. Many people are using a section of ¼ inch plumber’s supply line as a spanking instrument. It will fit in your purse or hang around you neck. You can buy them for under $1.00 at Home Depot or any hardware store. They come cheaper by the dozen and can be widely distributed in every room and vehicle. Just the high profile of their accessibility keeps the kids in line." (quoted from the Pearl's website)

** "And when you do spank, make sure that it is forceful enough to get her undivided attention. If she can scream "huggie" while you are spanking her, you are probably not spanking hard enough." (quoted from the Pearl's website)

"They try you, test your limits, and seek emancipation from all authority and rule of law. They are liberal totalitarians seeking a following, not passive peasants groveling to do your will. Children must be broken to the yoke of authority. " (emphasis mine - notice "passive peasants grovelling" is the desired state; quoted from the Pearl's website)

*** The soul of your child needs to be punished. "He feels the need to suffer for his misdeeds. What I am telling you is well understood by the most reprobate of modern psychiatrists and psychologists. They call it a “guilt complex.” Children and adults in this state of mind often do harm to themselves. Their anger is turned inward because they hate the bad person they know themselves to be. Their soul is crying out for justice to be done to the self. They don’t know what is happening, and they will not voluntarily seek punishment, but their soul needs judgment. When your child is in the first throes of this debilitating condition, be kind enough to punish him. Care enough and love enough to pay the emotional sacrifice to give him ten to fifteen licks that will satisfy his need to experience payback.
If you do not see the wisdom in what I have said, and you reject these concepts, you are not fit to be a parent. I pity your children. They will never experience the freedom of soul and conscience that mine do." (emphasis mine; quoted from the Pearl's website)

 (This post has been edited slightly from its original form. A bit of information regarding a specific doctrinal matter which may or may not have been the reason our friends stopped attending our church has been removed, and the wording has been altered for the sake of clarity in a couple of other places. In addition, we now attend a different church than we did at the time of this post.)

Ultimate Blog Party

Ultimate Blog Party 2009

 

Hi, I'm Teresa. Welcome to my blog! I thought it would be so fun to join the Ultimate Blog Party from 5 Minutes for Mom. You should join in, too!

Here are some things about me...
1. I have been married to the greatest husband in the world for 37 years.

2. I have a son 35, and a daughter 28 and I am so thankful that they love and honor their parents, but am equally proud that they adore each other.

3. The best job I have ever had is "Grammy"! Hands down...I love it! I am Grammy to Parker, Austin, Jack and new little man arriving in June.

4. My husband was the high school football coach when I was a cheerleader. I am 10 years younger than him. My kids love to hear that story. Hey, its lasted 37 years. Another post for another day.

5. Disney World is my favorite place on earth, especially with the grandkids. Nothing compares!

6. Parker is 9 and we have taken him to Disney World and Disneyland 7 times. Grandparents will travel. Those trips are some of the sweetest days of my life.

7. I have decorated homes for Christmas for the past 17 years. I just did a quick calculation and I have probably decorated at least 1200 Christmas trees in my life.

8. Dancing With The Stars is my very favorite TV show! With American Idol a close second.

9. I am a HUGE BRETT FARVE fan! I love football and actually feel depressed each year, as the season comes to an end. I cannot imagine football without Brett.

10. I think massages are about as close to heaven as we get on this earth. I try to have one every week. And tomorrow I have an all day spa day from my husband...my favorite Valentine gift!

That's plenty to start with with. Probably each of those will lead to a post in the future. Thank you to all the new friends that have stopped by my blog. I am a new blogger and in the blogs below,
I am in the process of introducing my family blog by blog. I hope you enjoy meeting them.